I got married last year – 10/15/2011 – woohoo! Before I was in an LTR, I thought of marriage equality as a symbolic thing. We’re not equal until our relationships are officially recognized, right? Beyond that, I knew that there were serious legal issues that could lead to every same-sex couples nightmare scenarios. One of us could be hospitalized and the other barred from her room, one of us dies and the other can’t afford the extra taxes to keep our home. Those are important but far away for a young couple.
I still believe in the symbolic importance of gay marriage, and I still worry about nightmare scenarios, but what has become more and more apparent to me is that being gay married entails a series of small injustices. Probably once a month my wife and I discover some extra hurdle that we wouldn’t have if we were a straight, legally married couple. Whether it’s having to go to the notary and pay $5 for an Affidavit of Same-Sex Partnership (because our VT marriage license doesn’t count), or legally changing our names at the county courthouse for $89 each (because we can’t do this through a marriage license), all too often we are reminded that society, through it’s laws, does not support us.
Don’t get me wrong, the majority of people in our everyday lives treat us wonderfully. Our friends often forget that we’re not legally married, because they see no difference between our marriage and those of straight friends. We’re grateful that our employers include us in benefits when legally they don’t have to. And we’re grateful for A, the notary at the UPS store who is always kind and apologetic when yet again she has to charge us $5 for the Affidavit. But this isn’t enough; not in a country that prides itself on equality for all.
That brings me to the purpose of this blog. From now until I run out of steam, I’m going to document all these small injustices, most of which carry a price tag. If this angers you as much as it does me, let it be the inspiration you need to go one step further in the fight for marriage equality. Thanks for reading