Affidavit of Same-Sex Domestic Partnership

Ugh. I’m already sick of these.  Here’s the deal: H and I are basically strangers to one another under the law, even more so since Amendment 1 invalidated our domestic partnership issued by the town where we live.  There is no legal document that acknowledges our relationship (well there’s our Vermont marriage license, but it is not recognized by our local, state, or federal government).  We are both lucky to have employees who choose to extend spousal benefits to same-sex partners, but they require that we submit a legal affidavit attesting to our relationship.  Without government recognition that would cover a wider radius of institutions, the affidavit only applies to the specific employer.  

So we fill these out over and over.  It is not a huge process,  Print the pdf, fill it out, go to the UPS store together to have it notarized, pay $5 per notary signature.  We could go to our credit union and get it done for free, but the nearest branch is a half hour away in the opposite direction that we commute every day.  The rub is, at least with my employer, married couples don’t have to submit ANY proof of their relationship.  No affidavit, no marriage license, nothing.  They take them at their word.  Neither can we submit our Vermont marriage license.  We have to do the affidavit.  It’s exactly the kind of small insult that motivated this blog.

I know I should be grateful.  A lot of gay people work for companies that do not extend benefits to their partners.   State institutions are legally barred from doing so.  We are both lucky to work for employers that at least attempt to treat our relationship as a marriage.  I believe that they do their best, and there is probably a good legal reason for the affidavit.  But we still have these damn forms.



This is a copy of the affidavit we filled out for my work.  We needed to add H to my insurance for a month between her old coverage and new coverage (more on that fiasco later).  We went to the UPS store, paid $10 (for each notary signature), then I hand delivered the file to my HR office.


  • $10 for notary
  • 45 minutes

Cost if we were straight: $0


One comment on “Affidavit of Same-Sex Domestic Partnership

  1. Don’t get me wrong, i am thankful my company recognizes my relationship with my partner, but they keep losing my affidavit! I bet straight married people working for Duke don’t have to deal with this. Once they are married, they’re married. At this point in time we’ve completed one of these affidavit things 4 times! I’m getting a little tired of this. The last time they asked I actually laughed because I know it’s coming. Oh well, it could be worse right?

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